Quote of the day

This page is to share some of the interesting things I hear from family members, friends and random people. Some quotes may be for mature audiences.

“His name is Huntington or Hasbro or something like that”

Not sure why I found these names so hilarious except that one is a disease and the other a toy manufacturer.  Aldo was trying to come up with the name of Donald Trump’s youngest son.  Apparently his name is Barron.

“You had no business taking me on that hike”

The story behind this quote is actually kinda sad, so I won’t go into it  I’ll just point out how much fun it can be to blame someone else for your own poor decisions

“I got over served”

Another fun way to blame someone else for your own bad choices.

“This is not going well at all”

my sister said this after my brother and I had a minor disagreement on day one of a sibling trip to Denver. it made us both laugh because it was a bit of an overstatement

“Trout mouth and chicken neck”

Words I learned from my sister.  It’s really hard to grow old gracefully.

“Dammit, Billy”

I won’t even try to explain this Aldo quote.  He says any song with Billy and/or dammit in it is a great song.  The only Billy song I can think of is Billy don’t be a hero and the only dammit song I know is that one from that unbreakable Kimmie show.

“I have no idea what you just said, but I’m sure it was important”

Another great Toby quote.  She was talking to my dad and clearly was not interested in hearing him repeat so she could hear.

“Take your shirt off”

Something fun to shout at the TV while watching Hawaii 5-0.  Often times McGarrett will comply.  Also good for Strike Back.  For Power, you could shout ‘take your pants off’, but that would just be crude.

“Little turkey”

Aldo likes this new nickname for me.

“You’ve got your old bubble butt back; for a while there it was spreading east and west.”

Apparently the ‘bubble butt’ description is a complement. The east and west description is clearly an insult, from Aldo.

“Dust, we’re having dust for dinner”

This is what Aldo tells me when we’re on a diet. I think this came from a Little Britain skit.

“That type of guy is lousy in bed; google it”

I made some sort of comment about a sexy, playboy type guy. Apparently Aldo wanted to make sure that I knew that they are not worth pursuing.

“You need to loosen your bowels when you sneeze”

I mentioned to Aldo that I had burst a blood vessel in my eye 3 times in a 6 month period while sneezing. This was his suggestion. Now I like to reassure him every time I sneeze ‘don’t worry, I loosened my bowels”.

“Are we gonna do a dine and shuffle?”

Aldo asked this when mom and dad were ready to leave the restaurant, but we hadn’t paid yet.

“He’s a little hyper today, do you think he’s on amphibians?”

My mom Toby had this to say about my brother Al one morning when he invited them over for breakfast. Not sure if he would have been licking the amphibians for the amphetamine high or what.

“I don’t really like it, but I could choke it down”

I asked a friend of mine if we should serve salmon when she came for dinner. I think I should interpret this as a definite NO.

“You probably shouldn’t consummate where you consecrate”

Aldo’s explanation for why a minister wouldn’t date within his congregation.

“You’re the loudest bunny in the cuddle”

No idea what Aldo meant by this. I’ll try not to be offended.

“If you don’t settle down, I’m gonna cut your guinness off”

Said by my mom to my dad at happy hour, he musta been getting a bit raukus (as Aldo likes to say).  The men in the room all shut up and looked stricken for some reason.

“Are you having a yardsale?”

I don’t like to use the closet, armoire or dresser to put away my clothes when on vacation.  This results in multiple piles of clothing usually on the floor near my suitcase.  Aldo, was not thrilled with my little piles, although he did contribute a bit to the yardsale.

“Boy this family sure knows how to beat a dead cow”

I started a discussion about how I had read that dairy cows are different breed of cow than meat “cows” which are usually male.  This led to endless arguments in which I was informed that there is no such thing as a boy “cow”, which I didn’t think was relevant to the discussion.  After several days and various, largely uninformed (no internet) discussions, Aldo came up with this comment.

“He’s upstairs getting brushed and medicated”

Mom said this about dad when we asked if he was coming down for happy hour in Ireland.  I thought it was funny because it sounded like he was a racehorse and someone was taking meticulous care of him.

“By the end of the summer, we’ll be like a full 12 course, gourmet, spoon fed by naked guatamalen models, meal.”

My running partner got a little carried away with the fitness/food metaphors with this one. I said that I’d be ‘starting from scratch’ after my 2 week vacation and she said ‘more like a frozen dinner’. Then she got carried away.

“Bouche. Lawn bowling made popular by old people who can’t run but can still manage to to bend over and pick up their balls”

Aldo was explaining the slippery slope from skipping a few days running to skipping a week to lawn bowling. When I protested that I have no balls to pick up and that the word is Bocce not Bouche (small little bites from the chef), he responded that “Bouche” is the equivalent for lazy women with no balls.

“After one beer, I’m just one beer away from smoking crack and waking up under a bridge.”

My running partner was explaining why she doesn’t drink much (we’d just watched a movie in which the main character pretty much did the above)

“He doesn’t draw blood anymore when he bites and scratches”

This is how sweet the new kitty has become recently according to Toby and Tiger.

“I sometimes have trouble articulating my words”

Toby was up all night mentally composing a response to an argument we’d had the night before and this was the introduction to her counterpoint.

“The only sign of intelligent life in Green Bay?  Minneapolis 261 miles”

This one is from a very bitter Viking fan.  Take a wild guess who that might be.

“He gave me the same blank stare I got when I asked the guy at McDonalds what he would recommend from the menu”

Comment made about an apparently disinterested waiter.

“That sounds like an eyepatch story”

Aldo was alluding to the fact that I have apparently ‘misremembered’ a traumatic summer from my childhood during which I was forced to wear an eyepatch for my lazy eye.  Both parents deny that this ever happened.  Now Aldo uses this phrase for any story that sounds like it might have been ‘misremembered’

“Bless this food, toots and tender juices”

My dad remembers this pre-meal blessing from his childhood–it retrospect the speaker may have been blessing the food ‘to its intended uses’.

“We would be piranhas in the neighborhood”

Apparently mom was afraid that something they were proposing for the cabin would cause them to be treated like vicious little sea creatures.

“Weeth Withaspun”

We were talking about the singing talents of Joaquin Phoenix and his costar in that Johny Cash film.  Kitty’s friend (now affectionately dubbed Weeth), had a hard time spitting out the name.

“I got mixed up with the taco bar”

Kitty sometimes got side tracked at the taco bar while on her way to the lunch buffet on the Alaskan cruise ship.

“I’m gonna need to go on a face diet when I get back from this trip”

Kitty’s husband said this upon noticing that his face was ‘filling out’ with all the overindulging we’d been doing on the recent Alaskan cruise.

“The liver is evil and must be punished”

This is from a t-shirt, I on the other hand have the utmost respect for the incredible job that my liver does and would never consider it evil.

“The Twins have been self defecating this year”

Yep, Aldo, they pretty much stink.

“Don’t look a dead horse in the teeth”

I can’t remember the context that inspired this metaphor, but really Aldo is there ANY context for which this makes sense?

“Does she still find you delightful?”

A character in a sit com (modern family?) asked this question in order to discern whether the couple should remain together or get divorced.  Aldo now likes to ask me that question periodically.

“And what exactly  is a ‘week…end’?”

Maggie Smith was playing an obnoxious, super wealthy British woman from the early 1900’s  (Downton Abbey?)  when she said this.  Apparently her character has no idea what it means to be ‘working class’.

“It’s a foofur”

This is the name that Adlo uses for any small (or in particular purse sized)  dog

“It was a sukiyaki moment”

Years ago, Aldo consumed an entire portion of sukiyaki and the waiter exclaimed that he had never seen anyone finish that entire meal in one sitting.  Aldo considered this his moment of truth.  Shortly thereafter, he lost about 10-15 lbs and never gained it back.

“I look like a tick”

This was about the same point in time as the sukiyaki moment (above).  Aldo was commenting on how he looked in his black bike shorts.

“When in beer; do Rome”

Not sure what to say about this one…  Toby was actually on her first beer in Regenberg (Germany) when she said this.

“Why so wiolent on the wessel?”

Aldo was making fun of the Belgium accent of our safety officer on our Grand Circle tour boat as he responded to my pinching him for some irritating comment he’d made.

“Do you guys have a cat?”

The 13 year old bag boy at the grocery store was commenting on the fact that we were buying 4 packets of tuna, anchovies and sardines.

“Where’s yalls drive thru daiquiri stands?”

Said by a twenty something who hadn’t been outside of New Orleans much.

“I care too much”

It was much easier to watch Twins baseball and Vikings football before I cared

“The bar smells like urine cake and the bathroom smells like popcorn”

Said about a bar downtown

“We’re going to be conversing in public now, so lets please engage our frontal lobes”

The guys were still a little loud after drinking a bit in the privacy of our own patio.

“Man’s greatest inventions:  Lingerie football and those sandwiches at KFC that use chicken as the bread”

And I thought Al was shallow.

“I’ve seen pigeons with attention spans longer than yours”

I was having a hard time watching Texas try to beat the Yankees–booooring.

“Moving furniture”

I’m not sure I completely understand this one.  Aldo seems to think that farting sounds like someone moving furniture.

“Playing with marbles upstairs”

Apparently my mom heard a sound she thought sounded like someone on the roof playing with marbles.  But no…it was just my uncle farting.

“Walk of shame”

The long walk back to your car from the stadium after your team loses the game.  The walk is especially shameful if you are the visiting team walking back to the hotel.  The idea of wearing the other teams jersey underneath so you can just take off your team jersey, may be an idea that will occur to you during your walk of shame.

“Train of shame”

Riding the light rail home after a big Twins loss or Vikings loss.  The train of shame is somewhat less humiliating since you will be on board with hundreds of other folks experiencing the same let down.

“Cute doesn’t cut it in the playoffs”

Joe Mauer was not performing up to expected standards, but I had to comment to Aldo that ‘well, he’s still cute’.  I guess I can’t argue with Aldo’s response.

“Knock-ups”

Toby was explaining how people look for the cheaper version of a particular item when it’s hard to get ahold of the real thing.  I guess these cheaper versions are conceived in a different way than the original technology.

“Middle bits”

Ricky Gervais was making fun of America and he mentioned that although he’s performed in NY and CA, he’s never really bothered with the ‘middle bits’.  He quickly suggested that he meant no offense to the middle bits, they may want to buy his video.

“Are you here to look at it or fix it”

Al and Aldo stopped by the downtown hotel known for an ice bar and asked if they could go out back and take a look at it.  the employee said this.  Apparently our balmy weather had melted the ice bar.

“Pants on the ground”

Looking like a fool with your pants on the ground.  Another Brett Favre quote.  I think it originated from an American Idol contestant.

“Yip cabbage, on three”

Apparently there is an old video of Brett Favre where he uses Yip cabbage as a ‘go team’ in the huddle.  He explains that no one who’s not from the south knows what it means and that although he’s from the south, he doesn’t know what it means either.

“I drank too much merlot and ran into a pole”

Kitty thought this excuse might have been helpful to Tiger Woods.  It has sort of a nice rhymey ring to it somehow.

“They were having a parallel argument”

I think I coined the term (maybe it was Al).  This is when two people are arguing a point and it’s obvious to an observer that they are in agreement regarding the facts, but that they are each making a tangential point that the other person refuses to acknowledge.

“The Obama factor only works in an election if Obama himself is on the ballot”

Heard this on MPR

“…She cooks… she’s very clean and she chews her food nicely”

From the movie Appaloosa, a good reason to marry a woman.

“He doesn’t beat me and he eats my cooking”

I don’t remember what movie this was from but this previously posted quote (below) is the equivalent (to the above)– good reason to marry a man

“Child Please”

Apparently Bengals foot ball player Ocho Cinco created this phrase as code for ‘F*** you’.  Aldo’s adopted this phrase but seems to be using it indiscriminately.  He’s having difficulties getting the tone just right to convey the appropriate message.  It just makes me laugh.

“I get more and more like myself every year”

Spoken by an ‘elderly’ relative.  I’m not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.  My dad has adopted it as one of his favorite quotes.

“Take a cheese pill”

Aldo was trying to tell me to take a chill pill.  He must have been hungry at the time.

“You don’t have to run faster than the bear, you just have to run faster than the guy you’re with when you’re being chased by a bear.”

This is from Al, I’d like to say it’s a clever metaphor or something like that, but knowing Al I think we should just take this quote at face value.

“All pigs are equal, it’s just that some pigs are more equal than other pigs”

This comment was made while standing in the coach line, just as the first class and business class ‘pigs’ were being called to start boarding.

“We can do this the easy way or we can do this the hard way”

Not something you want to hear from a TSA representative. Aldo was carrying blistex and he kept insisting that there was nothing in his pockets. Apparently this threat was enough for Aldo to dig deep and come out with the contraband blistex.

“You can’t put the poop back into the donkey”

I was 30 minutes late for an important promotions committee meeting, I apologized profusely; then one wise committee member made this comment.

“I came home one day and the hippies were eating the bark off my maple tree”

A friend was describing how a friend of his finally realized it was time to move from a questionable neighborhood. Must’ve been San Fran?

“Are you an early riser?”

My dad thought that this question was about the weakest attempt and the dumbest-ever question for making small talk while performing a banking transaction. In the teller’s defense, he was already annoyed with her because she’d asked him for two forms of identification.

“It must be related to your mid-life crisis”

Kitty’s husband was bragging about how he had recently discovered that he no longer has body odor. He’d gone 2 days without deodorant at the time. He was attributing this to ‘clean living’. We weren’t sure why bulking up and hanging out with teenagers would be considered ‘clean living’ and suggested his mid-life crisis was interfering with his natural body odor.

“No, it was solid, but thank you for your concern”

I had asked my brother if he had “spritzed”. He had just come from the bathroom and I knew my aunt had a canister of designer air freshener on the sink. I wanted to know whether Al had used it.

“Use old socks and napkins from restaurants for toilet paper”

Kitty has decided that even she will draw the line at this particular tip for frugal people and Kitty is about the most frugal person I know.

“Please don’t feed the monkeys.”

The first entry on our written list of ‘Things to Know about the Villa at Peter Bay’ was ‘Don’t feed the monkeys’. The last entry stated that there are no monkeys on St. John. Plenty of mosquitos and screaming ‘jeffrey birds’ though.

“No cheeto left behind”

This would be Al’s approach to snacking. Toby didn’t find this quote amusing. I suppose the Marines wouldn’t be amused either.

“Because they really don’t know?”

I was explaining to my friend that I now understand why tarot card readers are so vague and don’t really tell me anything specific about myself or what might happen in the future. She came up with this possible explanation–it made me laugh. Can’t argue with that logic!

“Please don’t gut your deer inside the hotel room”

The husband of a friend of mine is an accountant who used to work for the State of Missouri; apparently they set him up in some really high end hotels because this sign was posted inside his room.

“We would have had a heated tent for the hockey players, but the fuel in the generator froze

That’s how cold it was over at Lake Nokomis for the big hockey tournament yesterday (Feb 2008)!

“Cheese baby”

Sometimes after a cheese-related binge I gain a few pounds. Aldo likes to ask me when my cheese baby is due to be born.

“For example I wouldn’t walk up to an INFP and lick him”

This one is hard to explain. Some friends of ours who are veterinarians were discussing Myers-Briggs personality profiles and describing how knowing someone’s type might help you treat him differently. And no… we weren’t talking about animals, but apparently veterinarians think in somewhat different terms than the rest of us!

“Mom’s upstairs doing lines”

Mom describes the rows that she does for her knitting (or is it weaving?) project as ‘doing lines’

“Oatmeal snow”

That nasty slushy 3 day old snow.  per Aldo.

“It can be fun to blow your neighbors too”

Kitty was talking about how much fun her husband was having with his new snow blower.

“Sorry….We got stuck behind a ‘kinderbastard'”

My charming dad who adores (heavy sarcasm) children made this statement. We were walking through an interesting world market like shop in the Netherlands and he couldn’t get around the child to get out. Actually it was a very clever design for the store–once you were inside, there was only one way out so you had to basically go through the entire store.

“Talk to me”

This is how my dopey brother answers his phone. Even his cell phone! How embarrassing for him, if there are people around when he does this. My smartass dad said something like ‘vocalize’ when he answered the phone at Al’s house.

“Geez, I haven’t had that much foreplay in my entire life”

While at the Local (a Mpls pub) with some friends, a couple at the bar was heavily into each other, if you get my drift. A disgusted friend made the comment above. My brother, Al, responded wittily.

“and I bet your wife can confirm that”

“How can you have any popcorn if you don’t eat your jelly”

Aldo came up with this pseudo-PinkFloydish quote while drinking a ‘Big Ginger’ (Jameson’s-2-shots-and gingerale with a lime)

“Homocombobulated”

Someone who thinks others may think he’s gay, so he goes out of his way to not do things that others might construe as gay, such as drinking a chocolate martini, only to accidentally overcompensate and use words like ‘he-man’ to suggest how one might attempt to not appear gay. Thus convincing those around him that he must be gay. Ok, I admit it– these quotes make it appear as though I am obsessed with the whole gay-not gay thing.

“He’s a mommy”

We were in the airport shuttle one day and a flamingly, openly-gay, young man was talking to his little lap dog inside the carrier. “mommy will let you out as soon as I can” he said. So now, Aldo and I use the term “mommy” as code for a gay man who is so blatantly out-of-the-closet that he is practically a stereotype. I don’t know- does this set the gay cause back by a decade or ahead by a decade??

“He’s a foot tapper”

This would be the opposite of a mommy. This gay person is so far IN the closet that he will deny his homosexuality on national TV.

“She’s just fluffy”

You know how they say you should never ask if a woman is pregnant unless you see the actual baby coming out of her. I made that mistake when looking at a photograph of my cousin’s wife. I thought his response was adorable. “No”, he said, “she’s just fluffy.”

“Gluvine delivery system (GDS)”

We were drinking gluvine on the patio and decided that we need to find a way to keep the gluvine warm out on the patio. There is no electricity for the crockpot (the usual indoor method of keeping it warm) and the gas burner on the grill seems to have one setting which is essentially ‘boiling’ (not great for an alcohol based drink). We finally came up with the idea of a thermos. (duh!)

“It’s because you don’t exercise”

Kitty’s husband uses this response for anything bad that happens to my sister. For example: I don’t like the way I look in this bathing suit. “it’s because you don’t exercise”. I passed out after giving blood. “it’s because you don’t exercise” I just tripped on the sidewalk–“it’s because you don’t exercise”. They don’t appreciate me at work. “it’s because you don’t exercise”. My car needs a new battery. “it’s because you don’t exercise”. Aldo has begun using this on me for random mishaps and complaints.

“Thank you for the fellowship”

A sarcastic comment made by a little old lady who was dissed by her friends in the lunchroom.

“If you swallow it whole, you won’t notice how it tastes”

Al’s approach to dining (similar to my dog’s approach). Maybe dining at Manny’s steakhouse isn’t worthwhile for him?

“He doesn’t beat me and he eats my cooking”

I don’t remember exactly where this one came from but Aldo and I like it as a an example of someone’s minimum requirements for a good spouse.

“You got a girdle for your blonde?!”

Apparently what my dad had really said (excitedly) was “I got a turtle for my pond”. I thought it was a little strange that he was bragging about getting a girdle for his blonde (my mom is not blonde). He had found a great little ceramic turtle that he was going to put in the little pond in his backyard.

“So basically, I suck at sucking and an elbow certainly doesn’t help!”

My friend tomboy said this as we were trying to rack a gallon of wine. Racking a wine involves siphoning it from one container into the next leaving the majority of the ‘burned-out’ yeast behind as a thick layer of sediment in the old container. The elbow is a device that helps to keep the hose in place and filter some of the sediment. The problem is that with an elbow the liquid has to go up and over before gravity will kick in to keep the siphon going. Both tomboy and I suck at sucking (siphoning).

“Why didn’t you just ask him to point you to the gay section of the liquor store?”

Explained in detail in the post “my dad may be gay”.

“You’ll be working at Taco Bell and eating catfood”

My friend was warning me that this could be my future if I continue to do all my living “in the here and now” (dining out and traveling) on credit.

“Learn Wall Street English”

We saw a poster with this slogan in the RER (subway) in Paris. It was advertising an English language program. I had to laugh– who would be impressed by this? Certainly not the French!

“Fricken, Kicken Chicken”

Don Aldo came up with this idea as the name of a restaurant that serves take-out Chicken. He was talking about what a shame it is that we don’t have those inexpensive rice bowl-based, fast food restaurants here in the Midwest. Of course we want royalties if anyone decides to use this name/slogan. Haus Frau might want to consider this for her restaurant.

“Good morning Mrs. Trust”

The folks at mom and dad’s timeshare in Mallorca kept calling us Mr. and Mrs. Trust because the name on the reservation was “St. John Family Trust”. This is because mom and dad set up the timeshare as a trust so they could leave the timeshare to us when they die.

“It didn’t bloom in my mouth”

My beer-drinking brother-in-law said this about a simple, cheap red wine in Spain. At the time, we were making fun of the pretentious, nonsensical things people say about wine. Needless to say, we got a lot of mileage out of this comment.

“I’m much prettier in my own head”

Kitty said this out loud, but I’ve often thought the same thing upon catching a glimpse of my reflection in a mirror. I’m also thinner and younger in my own head.

“WhaHey”

Apparently this means ‘down boy’ in British….As in “Where there’s a Will, there’s a WhaHey”. This was the tabloid headline when Prince William was caught with his ‘large manly’ hand on the breast of a young party girl.

“Try to let the ka-ka out before it builds too much.”

Bill sent this comment about my ‘blogging while angry’ post. Must be a Canadian thing. I’ll have to put “Canadian” on my list of new languages to learn. I also find the Australian and British languages quite interesting.

“Would he/she pick you up from the airport?”

Some blogger proposed this as the number one criteria for distinguishing a friend from an acquaintance. Sounds like a good benchmark, but here in Minneapolis I live so close that I’d probably pick up a stranger for a sandwich and a beer. In Denver, this ‘airport shuttling behavior’ defines a “loved one” or a “very intimate friend”! A trip to or from the Denver airport (which is located somewhere in Kansas) is a fate worse than death (thanks Kitty)! Of course Kitty makes her reservations for arrival in Minneapolis at about 1-2 a.m.–I guess that’s my payback.

“How about blowing bubbles?”

When asked, Don Aldo told me that I can do just about anything on a cross training day. I came up with this option. Sort of the equivalent of under-water basket weaving as a course for college credit.

“She should be wearing a diaper”

Don Aldo used this quote to describe a married straight woman who went on-line to play some sort of dragon killing internet game and accidentally fell in love with a person who later turned out to be a lesbian. I guess this kind of behavior reminded him of that diaper-wearing, astronaut-stalker woman.

“I don’t color my hair and I don’t golf”

Toby’s friend used this rationalization for why it’s ok to spend a few hundred dollars gambling every so often. Happy gambling.

“Sky Clad”

Hmmm I not sure how to explain this one….my friend Ingrid’s husband used this as a description of how one might dress if one was communing with nature in an outdoor pagan ceremony.

“The big blowout”

Kitty’s description of the day before Al’s first colonoscopy. Have a great Birthday… after the big blowout–brilliant scheduling.

“He/She’s taking a dirt nap”

This is a euphemism that I believe I first heard from Kitty’s husband, but I forget the context (dead pet –I believe). Salvatore (now Don Aldo, aka my husband) told me that this is what our “pet” mouse is now doing (inside the trash-can, stuck to a piece of sticky paper with cereal on it). Does this qualify as cruelty to animals or did our little mouse die painlessly and quickly in the below zero weather? I could write a story, but I don’t want to get the animal rights activists too excited if they happen across my blog. I wanted him gone, but he was starving and he trusted us enough to be trapped by the cereal and we betrayed him, so I feel bad (what’s the term? anthropomorphism/personification?). I’m glad I hadn’t named him.

“Your suitcase cannot talk to me.”

This is what the airline employee told Kitty when she went to pick up her luggage a few days after the big Denver blizzard of Dec 06. Apparently, although Kitty’s flight to Albuquerque was canceled, her luggage managed to take a little side trip (was it Aspen?) and hadn’t returned to the Denver airport by the time my sister went to retrieve it. Seems to me the airline would have a better plan for tracking down luggage than just waiting for it to speak to them.

“I may as well stay married to him because he would probably stalk me if I left.”

My friend (who never drinks) was halfway through a blended lemon martini when she said this.

“You may have to hang up on a few (customer service representatives) before you find one that’s helpful.”

paraphrased from something Kitty said about finding an airline employee to help with the big France/Spain trip. Sad but true.

“Well maam, why don’t you jus get out yer shotgun and blow their dang heads off.”

My friend was telling me a story about how she had to sell her Aunt’s place in rural Georgia. The fish and game guy gave her this helpful advice regarding the snakes in the barn. She politely explained that she a. didn’t own a shotgun and b. didn’t know how to use one. He then suggested that she call the Mayor since he’d be happy to blow their dang heads off, after all they’re good eatin. Apparently, the Mayor complied. He probably ate them too.

“That’s just piggish”

This is something my 97 year old grandmother said about her friend who asked for an extra dessert to take back to her room after dinner.

“Step away from the weirdo”

Advice regarding how to deal with difficult coworkers.

“You have emotional diarrhea” or, he added, “E.D.”

This is what my husband said to me when he caught me crying at the end of the movie ‘White Chicks’. Not a movie I would highly recommend -by the way. I also cried when I saw Brett Favre crying at the end of his ?? last football game (eds note: clearly this was written a while ago). I will assume he was crying because it is the end of his career and not because he also has “ED”. Not to be confused with the other ED, which wouldn’t make much sense for me.

Do they give you a week to run a marathon?”

My brother Al asked this ‘innocently’, after I had bragged to him about how I had run more than 25 miles that particular week of my marathon training.

8 Responses

  1. “your suitcase cannot talk to me.”

  2. Loved these!!

  3. I haven’t read these for awhile. They are still great. I particularly loved “it didn’t bloom in my mouth”! That pretty well expresses my wine tasting abilities!

  4. While in The Local with some friends, a couple at the bar was heavily into each other, if you get my drift. A disgusted friend said: “Geez, I haven’t had that much foreplay in my entire life.” I responded, “…and I bet your wife can confirm that…” Are these suitable quotes??

  5. I’m having trouble finding places again. Is it possible to put “home” at the top and maybe also “categories” so you could get back to where you want to go after “surfing” your site???

    • I thought there was a home button. I’m not computer literate enough to make changes to the set up of this website. When did you send these latest comments?

  6. if the lingerie football comment is gonna be attributed to me, i’d like to make a correction.. Man’s two greatest inventions are lingerie football and those sandwiches at KFC that use chicken as the bread.. although fried cheese is probably in the top ten..

  7. If I ever run out of reading material, I’ll just come back to your blog…especially the quotes! The loudest bunny in the cuddle???

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